Archives for the month of: November, 2008

I cried when Obama won. I was happy, but also awash with the pain of the past..a pain that I hope will be washed away in the healing waters of a black mans presidency.

If you weren’t alive in the 50s and 60s, or a history buff, you’re probably wondering what the big deal is all about.

I know, it seems like something that happened a long long time ago. But I am only 50 and I remember how black people were treated like second class citizens, bullied by the clueless clan and restricted by segregation.

I saw the signs, in Texas stores and restaurants, and even in Oregon that said “We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone” and it meant, “black people not welcome here”. I vaguely remember water fountains designated for whites…but I remember this more for when the government put a stop to it — some white people were very upset about the idea of sharing with black people and they raged against it. Just look up the history of Governor Wallace. A bad man. A very bad man who was anti-black for a very long time.

As a child I hadn’t known many black people. The only thing I thought was different was skin color, and to me it seemed exotic, something interesting, and sometimes beautiful. not something to cause separation or fear, or hate.

I didn’t understand why black people were being treated poorly. And I remember the kluesless klux clan always seemed to be hurting and killing black people and getting away with it. When I asked my parents my father went into a tirade about how black people were less than whites. He hated them. I said what if I married one,  and he told me that if I ever married one I’d be disowned. I said GOOD. I was about 11 or 12, soundly slapped and sent to my room.

I will give my father credit, by the time he died, he was wiser than when he was young and had come to accept that he was wrong about black people. He tried to make peace, with me, when I was in my late 20s,   by giving me a black baby doll. As a kid I had wanted to mother all children and  I had often asked for a black baby doll and he had always said no. 

As a child and even now, I wasn’t buying that black people weren’t just like whites. I was a god believer in my younger days, and my premise was, if god created people in all different colors, it wasnt so one could lord it over another, but god must of had a GOOD reason. I just hadn’t figured it out yet.

As an adult (and later an athiest) I would go to college and learn from anthropology courses that skin color is determined based on evolutionary elements such as where you live, how much sun you will be exposed to, and of course natural selection.

In Africa, for example, it’s better to have dark skin, lots of sun there, burning sun and the extra melanin protects you. If you are white, it’s because your ancestors lived in a zone where there was less sun and you didnt need as much melanin to protect you from it.

If you believe in god, this evolutionary explanation still makes perfect sense. After all, wouldn’t god be smart enough to factor in the need for more melanin?

For the first time, and finally, a black man is president of America.  I believe his becoming president can go a long way in healing some folks who are old enough to have been mistreated for being black or had family who were, beaten, murdered, and made into slaves simply because of the color of their skin.

Obama wasn’t my first choice. I was torn between him and Hilary. I was interested in Hilary because women have been second class citizens (and yes, often slaves too) for most of written history. But in American history, black men were given the right to vote before women were. In America it became illegal to kill or beat your black slaves before it became illegal to beat or kill your wife. Yes, back in the day, you were allowed to beat your wife and say it was all her fault. And that persisted into the 1970s. So I see this progress for black people as progress for women too.

I will say, there was a brief moment when I was intested in McCain because Obama and Hilary had gone at it in ways that made me lose respect for both of them. And McCain had pulled in Palin, who is a woman, and I liked the idea of a woman making it to VP.

That interest in McCain lasted until Palin opened her mouth. My impression of her was red-neck, gun toting, soccer mom, not very intelligent, and not whom I wanted to represent women or America. 

My daughter is a soccer mom. I love her. She is intelligent, smart, beautiful, but being a soccer mom doesn’t qualify her to run for president, or vice president so why should it qualify Palin? After hearing Palin speak, Im not sure how she ever became governor of Alaska.

And joe the plumber? OMG I remember plumbers when I was a kid, it’s not for nothing the joke about plumbers butt. And why would you champion a guy who was found to be practicing without a license?

But it wasn’t joe the plumber that turned me more toward Obama. As he debated McCain and spoke to people, I came to believe he could take care of us. He would affect change we so desperately need. And he, Obama, could do more than lead us well, he could heal a people whose history is rife with injustice.

My tears — were the tears of justice ringing in the land.


Fall  colors, lacking sun but somehow peaceful. Waiting for the UPS man to bring my code books. Covering all the basis, learning new things. Searching for jobs this morning, web tangents. Web tangents means following links from site to site, searching for one that might be a hit for a good job op.

Saw many entrepenureal sites. none of them need a web designer, but they inspire me to wonder…to remember, long ago, I wanted to be one of them. to design clothes, or purses, or fabrics. I never went that route. In college I didnt remember that dream and now, I wouldnt know how to follow it.

This week Ill order another book. Related to designers. where to push your product, such as greeting card design. Im thinking that would be fun to do.

No, Im still thinking about the medical dream theme and yes, there is room for designing greeting cards. Or illustrating. Though I think Im not the kind of illustrator I would like to be.

Anxiety high, soon we will have a new president. Its odd, they arent bombarding us with the numbers for this region that region, this state, that state like they’ve done for every election I can remember.

Not a single word about the counts yet. Im glad really, all it does is panic people even those who dont vote.

My registration was messed up and I didnt know it until it was too late to fix it in time to vote. Too many moves, lost my card, cant remember where I was last registered. If I just had my card I could have proven my registration. In lieu of that I had to remember WHERE I was last registered. But they couldnt find me.

New registration will be needed but not in time for Obama. Id like to say may the best man win, but as we’ve seen in the past, even when the best man won, the worst man can steal the presidency with the help of shifted electoral votes and citizens votes being discarded by a brother and an ex lover. Conspiracy? no you all saw it. It was in our faces so plain but no one dared to stop it.

So, yeah, Obama could win and with the same anti-democratic boobs in high places, relations and friends of bushinsky, McCain could steal the white house just like his cronie.

The electoral has to go. ITs not the voice or the will of the people. Especially when people in high places can redraw its borders to suit their needs.

Im still angry.

Can we really be made to suffer 4 more years of the bush regime via mcCain.

I am still afraid. The answer might be yes. 

McCain means unemployment, rich get richer.

They call Obama the neo socialist. Ill take a little socialism againsts capitalism run amok any day.